Gender-Bias Live!

So, I meet this interesting man on an airplane last month, a superintendent, and we engage in a great conversation about education, our goals, our successes and failures. As our flight ends and we part, we agree to keep in touch and he offers to mentor me in my quest to move into a superintendent’s position. We also discuss the possibility of co-authoring a book together. I excitedly tell two people about this chance meeting…a man I am dating and my mother. Both reply “He probably just wants to have sex with you”.

I have an interview for a superintendent’s position. I feel it goes very well. The search consultant calls the next day and tells me what a great job I did and recommends that I also apply for a much bigger job in a larger school district. He tells me I interview well and that he feels I am a good candidate for this challenging job. I excitedly tell my mother about this very flattering conversation. Her response: “Does he just want to date you?”

I share a very professional letter I received from a male graduate student praising my teaching style and the content of my course with my ex-superintendent and my secretary. His response: “Does he just want you to be his cougar?” (Cougar implies an older woman dating a younger man.) Her response: “He is just after an A in the course”.

Just look at the messages being sent about my capabilities!!

What’s up with this!!! Is every male compliment really a ploy for a sexual encounter?

Couldn't it possibly be that I am actually good at something?

If a man had these same experiences would the same comments be made?